i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
