i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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