you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
