Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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