East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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