So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
