There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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