I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
