If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize