Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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