we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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