Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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