She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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