In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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