sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
