Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
