do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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