i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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