Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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