it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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