when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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