garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
