why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
