He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
