I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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