Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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