It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
