He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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