we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
