i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
