I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
