My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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