i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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