i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
