So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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