I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
