Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
