alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
