he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you never un-have a 4some
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
