We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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