you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
MIDGETS
????
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
