is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize