Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Nicole vs. Life
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
