forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
