so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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