Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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