I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
