its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
