Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
