I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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