its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
