some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
