There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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