Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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