Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize