In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
