My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
