Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
