I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
