I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
