This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
