I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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