And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
